Afterthoughts

I don't know if people will check this since I'm home now, but I feel like this whole experience won't be over for a long time, and I should give some last thoughts for the time being. I've been home for almost two weeks and it feels like it's been forever. It's been indescribably wonderful seeing my family and friends, and overall I don't feel like the US is such a surprise to me. I know my world prety well, having lived here longer than anywhere else. What has surprised me has been an internal feeling...guilt. I feel like the luckiest person alive right now. I'm typing to all of you on my new laptop computer from a warm bed after unpacking my massive amounts of stuff in my new house. I don't know why I am one of the fortunate few, and we are few in comparison, to live in such luxury. When you're in the middle of it, it doesn't feel like luxury. It often feels like normal, a little stressful and not necessarily ideal.

What's surprising about this is that I spent 6 months trying to convince others and myself that I was not one of those rich Americans. I wanted them to know that there was more to me than money. But now I walk through the streets of Chicago, drive through the streets of Ann Arbor and even in Kalamazoo I feel like I see them through a lense that is putting a price on everything. We don't have beggars like Dakar. We don't have the garbage and sewage problems that they do. And there are countries much worse than Senegal.

The most important thing I have gained from my time in Senegal was my perspective on the world. It's, huge, unpredictable, diverse, intriguing and basically falling apart as we speak. I know that sounds horribly pessimistic, but I think it's true. The fun part is that it's not totally falling apart, and for the moment we can enjoy what we have and try to salvage the future. Now more than ever I appreciate kindness, openmindedness, irony and surprises, (although the more I see, the less I am surprised). Humor, of course, is the icing on the cake.

I'm happy to be home and spoiled, but thankful to have gotten a different perspective and motivated to not lose it.