Afterthoughts

I don't know if people will check this since I'm home now, but I feel like this whole experience won't be over for a long time, and I should give some last thoughts for the time being. I've been home for almost two weeks and it feels like it's been forever. It's been indescribably wonderful seeing my family and friends, and overall I don't feel like the US is such a surprise to me. I know my world prety well, having lived here longer than anywhere else. What has surprised me has been an internal feeling...guilt. I feel like the luckiest person alive right now. I'm typing to all of you on my new laptop computer from a warm bed after unpacking my massive amounts of stuff in my new house. I don't know why I am one of the fortunate few, and we are few in comparison, to live in such luxury. When you're in the middle of it, it doesn't feel like luxury. It often feels like normal, a little stressful and not necessarily ideal.

What's surprising about this is that I spent 6 months trying to convince others and myself that I was not one of those rich Americans. I wanted them to know that there was more to me than money. But now I walk through the streets of Chicago, drive through the streets of Ann Arbor and even in Kalamazoo I feel like I see them through a lense that is putting a price on everything. We don't have beggars like Dakar. We don't have the garbage and sewage problems that they do. And there are countries much worse than Senegal.

The most important thing I have gained from my time in Senegal was my perspective on the world. It's, huge, unpredictable, diverse, intriguing and basically falling apart as we speak. I know that sounds horribly pessimistic, but I think it's true. The fun part is that it's not totally falling apart, and for the moment we can enjoy what we have and try to salvage the future. Now more than ever I appreciate kindness, openmindedness, irony and surprises, (although the more I see, the less I am surprised). Humor, of course, is the icing on the cake.

I'm happy to be home and spoiled, but thankful to have gotten a different perspective and motivated to not lose it.

Finishing Up

Hello and my apologies for not writing lately. As the end of my program is coming closer, almost all of my computer time is spent writing papers and doing research.

The last month has been good. I got to visit a more rural town called Fatick where we ate a lot, did tye dye with a woman's group and played cards with the kids. The place we stayed at was a compound with mostly women and several different houses arranged around a central courtyard with baobab trees. I don't know if I've put up any pictures of baobab trees, but you should look them up if not. They're huge and great.

Last weekend I went to the second baptism for the baby (the date had been moved back) in St. Louis, which is a calm, colonial and colorful (unintentional assonance there). The baptism was more like a party for the new mom who got dressed up twice with hair and makeup that was pretty outstanding. There was not any music unfortunately, because one of their neighbors had recently died and during the mourning time you can't play music. I was overwhelmed by the number of well dressed women, but soon found a group of little girls to play with, which was really fun. The next day was great with my Aunt's family I had just met... we cooked and hung out. Later I was lucky enough to ride home with another Aunt (the mom of Fatou Marie, who spent the trip jumping between the two back seats. I very rarely see carseats here).

I now have 3 weeks until I come home...which I am really excited for. Hopefully I will be able to put up all my pictures then and write a few more things. Until then, enjoy winter!

New Baby

I can't tell you her name just yet, but my aunt had a baby girl last weekend. They wait a wek before naming babies, and apparently the dad gets to name them. This is a stupid rule in this case because the mother is a second wife and her husband is hardly around. They actually live in two different towns usually. I get to go to St. Louis (in Senegal, the second largest city) for the second baptism. I am super super excited. Last night I got to hold her for probably 30 minutes... highlight of my life. She'll probably be named Aminata, like the majority of the women in the family, after Grandma. The good thing is that it can be shortened in several ways: Ami, Amina, Adja (somehow) but I haven't heard Nata. Probably for reason.

This weekend I have the vague assignment of checking out the tourism industry in a rural ecovillage. This basically means that I am going on a long weekend, and it's paid for! I'm going with one other girl from the group. The downside is that I am missing my host mom's coming home party, which is apparently even bigger than the going away party for the pilgrimage. I can't imagine her caring too much, as she'll be seeing everyone and their mother over the next few days and I myself don't REALLY mind avoiding the huge group and endless eating. I'll get to do that next weekend, which is enough for moi.

Other than that, things are going along. This week I had ALL 3 classes I was supposed to have, which is always a good but unforunately not usual thing. I started a project at a local clinic/public health organization, which is interesting, but it seems like all of my work is going to be jammed into the last 2 months. So if I don't write, that's why. Ask any questions burning in your mind. Jamm out. (jamm=peace)

Killing Goats and Christmas Craziness

Hello all...It's been a while. Thank you for your Christmas letters and packages...they are making me feel so loved and I really appreciate it.

Christmas was much better than I expected it would be. We were walking around Ziguinchor a few days before when a woman called us into her house. Somehow we were adopted into their family, that just happened to be Catholic, and spent Christmas eve and Christmas with them. They were the most welcoming family I have ever randomly met, and we felt very comfortable there. There were people of all ages, like most big Senegalese families, so feeding a few extra mouths wasn't a huge deal. We made sure to bring dessert though, and despite our wishes, we sat at the table and ate with a bunch of the men, since we were guests. The women who made the food sat around the bowl somewhere else. NOT fair, but not our place to decide. The Grandma of the family was definitely in charge, despite the fact that she was in a wheelchair and couldn't see very well. She was very spunky and kept offering us more wine and told us we had to dance. So we all danced... a lot.

Coming home from our long and otherwise uneventful but relaxing vacation was nice. The 31st was the day of goat-killing, which I watched all of except for the actual throat-cutting. The disassemblage was fascinating, and I was amazed to be eating grilled liver while the rest of the body was still being cut up and divided into the appropriate places. I don't know if I can handle sheep again, and I am really looking forward to being a vegetarian again when I get home, haha. Despite the disturbing side of it, I enjoyed the holiday. It's not very often that you get to see the entire process of how meat gets into your hands. And we got to get dressed up in our boubous and visit the neighbors. I'm not very good at that type of thing...I can get dressed up but they visit to chit chat in Wolof, and seeing as I don't really like chit chat in English, I was a silent guest. I think holidays here are mostly about getting dressed up and seeing as many people as possible. The eating is important too, but only after the first two objectives.

I hope you all had a good holiday! I will be putting up pictures eventually, but for the moment I'm at a stand still on that beause I have a lot of other work to do online. My apologies.

Merry Christmas, Casamance

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR etc.

I hope that your holiday season is wonderful. I will be heading first to The Gambia, then to the Casamance (in the south of Senegal) for the next week, including Christmas. It will be sad to be gone for Christmas, but I am really excited to travel! And despite the fact that this country is 95% Muslim, they like to celebrate Christmas too, so I'm not totally missing out. I am travelling with 2 other women from my program who are a lot of fun. Tonight I have to pack as lightly as I can and then we're taking a taxi/car to Banjul, the capital of the Gambia. It's odd to have the Gambia just stuck in Senegal like it is... but colonization has never made that much sense. THey were colonized by the British, so they speak English there!

Ok, I don't have time to write any more, but will come back with lots of stories to put up.

Momma's Going to La Mecque

One of the five pillars of Islam, the only one that is not obligatory, is going to Mecca. My host mom is going in a week, for the much anticipated pilgrimage. It's a pretty exciting event in my house, ever since I found out about her going there have been people coming to give her money for the trip and send her off with good wishes. She said she could be gone for up to two months, but probably will be gone for one, but she doesn't know yet. I am a little worried because there have been stampedes during the pilgrimage that have killed up to 1,400 people in the past 20 years. We'll just hope for the best.

As for other family news... The 2 year old and the 18 month old are growing fast, and becoming pretty good friends (of mine). I had to do a family tree (yay elementary school!) and found out that my grandma (Maam) has 10 children, two of which have two wives. None of them have more than 4 kids with each wife, so there seems to be a trend of not having as many kids, but overall there is a lot of family. They always seem to be going to see "a parent" which could be anyone they're related to. Also everyone in the family is named after each other, so we have two NeNes, two Ngones, 4 Aminatas, after Grandma and 5 Mustaphas after Grandpa. Since Mustapha was Grandpa's name, a lot of the Mustapha's are called Pap as well, like my little host brother. If you ask him his name, he'll say "Bebe Pap". They also like to just call everyone by Grandma and Grandpa, as a sign of endearment. My aunt for example (who is due to have a baby at the end of January!) we call Tata Maam - Aunt Grandma. They are really a great family...although it has taken me a long time to really feel like a part of it, they are wonderful.

Here comes the president

So... It's been a while since I've written, but I don't want to flood you with wordy descriptions and stories. Instead I'll give you a few gems:

Benn: The president lives a short, pretty much straight drive from the airport, which happens to go along the road that I live off of. When he is coming back from taking a trip, which seems to be relatively often, it is suddenly necessary to get him back to his house ASAP, nothing can stop him! They block off all acess to the road, making people turn around or wait for him to go by. Then, at lightening speed his fleet of police cars, trucks and big black SUVs come whizzing by, with a few motorcycles to pave the way. Individual guards have to stand at every intersection to make sure no one is in the road. Needless to say, it's a huge ordeal, and kind of exciting and probably unnecessary. Speaking of the presidentm he is 81 and running for presedency again this winter. He also looks like he came out of a horror movie because he has very little facial expression.

Naar: A while ago I was walking to school along that same road, past the small shack-compound and in front of the sign that said TUMMYTUCKS above a white woman lying on her stomach in a bathing suit. Next to the sign was a group of about 7 boys all under the age of 10 naked, throwing water at eachother. I smiled at the funny image of it all, and as I was looking over I caught their attention. They however, thought that I was the funny one, and all started pointing at me. The irony of the whole scene still tickles me, and seems almost representative of how I feel here: a little out of place, struck by ironies of the first world clashing with the third, being laughed at and laughing at it all.

Nett: Wolof is not so easy for me to pick up, but it is getting better. I've noticed a bit of a change in the way people treat me when I make an effort to speak it too, it gives them something for them to joke about and for us to laugh about. Also university courses are becoming a headache to deal with, not because they are hard or anything, but because so far they have failed to exist. Today is day three of trying classes and hoping that the professor will decide to come. Eventually they may pick up, but it looks like I have a lot of free time to figure other parts of my life out, apart from academics and such.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We tried to replicate it, and did a pretty good job for what we had to work with. It may be one of the only thanksgivings that I will have that includes having to change clothes because of the hot hot day and going to a huge market to haggle for prices of zuchini and green beans.

Back in Dakar

My sister brought it to my attention that I've written on Thursdays for the past three weeks...until now. Inconsistant! The fact is, I no longer have free internet access every day. Instead I am spending more time taking advantage of the city and it's many offerings, or at least trying to. Yesterday for example another student and I spent a good chunk of money to swim in the Piscine Olympique. It was really peaceful and huge and totally worth the money. I'm also trying to run more to explore the area around my house. It's not hard, but it is a task to dodge people and to pretend that I don't see them staring at me. I just figure the more I look like a 13 year old boy, the better it is, so that's what I shoot for when I leave the house.

Coming back to Dakar has been interesting for me. I can actually see how much more comfortable I am here with the culture and everything. Some new students are here, have been here for 3 weeks, and I can see them going through the same conversations that we had. They seem like trivial worries to me now, 8 weeks into my stay. At the same time it becomes more and more obvious that I will never blend in here. You may think this is a funny idea, and I myself didn't ever expect to fit in, but it's interesting to see the ways in which I've become comforable and in which I am and will always be my American self. Also interesting to see that by coming to a culture centered around groups, I feel like I'm becoming more of an individual.

Ba Beneen, Yoff

It's already time to leave Yoff, and head back to my family in Dakar. I have mixed feelings about this, but am really happy that I got to come here and see another perspective, meet new people, etc. Yoff is a suburb of Dakar, or another neighborhood in Dakar depending on who you talk to, but it does have a smaller feel to it. Like the other night I took my host cousin to a party my friend's host brother was having, and of course they just happened to know each other since kindergarten. And when we said we had to pick up our friend at the Ndiaye's house, they knew where that was too. Small.

Monday was Korité, the end of Ramadan. It was not as exciting as I thought it would be for how much they talked about it beforehand, but it was a good day nonetheless. I put a ton of pictures up from it on my webshots page which gives a good idea of what it was like: Eating and getting dressed up for pictures. Part of the dressing up in the afternoon, after eating, is for when they go to visit other people. I don't know how they decide who goes and who stays, but people were coming by all afternoon and night, and my host mom and aunts went out at least once.

More exciting news...I found this kind of yogurt that has millet in it. Millet is like couscous only larger, and it tastes really good with vanilla yogurt. A tub of it is about 70cents and has been my lunch for the last couple of days. I also have baguettes every day. Makes me miss France :).

Overall...comfortable. I'm getting more and more comfortable every day. Life is good.
Enjoy the cold for me all you people in the US.

Three fiancees, one husband

Not a lot is going on right now. I keep going between being really happy being here and being really frustrated at how hard it is to live here. However the hard parts often turn into the most rewarding parts as well. For example, the past couple nights I have been trying to figure out how to interact with my host family more. They speak wolof amongst themselves which I don't understand, and it's always hard to just show up and expect to fit into a family, so I've spent a lot of time sitting awkwardly with them, trying to think of things to say. I tried playing cards the other night, and for some reason that too was really awkward too. But then, breakthrough, I have figured out how I canoke around with them and make them laugh: telling them that I have three fiancees and one husband, showing them how I've learned some African dance and practicing my horrible Wolof, for example.

Yeah, I have been taking dance classes. They are really fun and the teacher is very good. The only thing is that they aren't allowed to drum during ramadan, so we have to dance to his verbal drumming. The end of ramadan is Monday or Tuesday, depending on the moon and the religious leaders who decide when the next lunar month starts. The day is called Korite and we get the whole day off to par-tay. I had a new outfit (boubou) made for the occasion. I put pictures up on the site.

They say that the weather will cool down in November, but it's still very hot here. The day you Michiganders got snow, it was high 80s, low 90s and sunny here. I haven't actually been swimming here in Yoff, which is crazy since I live on the beach, but I have been running on the beach which is really nice. Some mornings we'll see huge groups of people pulling fishing nets out of the water, while women wait with huge plastic basins to collect the fish.

What else would be interesting... polygamy! Polygamy is all the rage here. You'd think that maybe since it's a developing country it would be becoming less popular, but everyone says that it's not going down in popularity very quickly at all. I have not talked to a single woman who supports it, but they actually have little to say in the matter. The guys I've talked to say that there is are too many women, so they're actually helping everyone to have a husband. Plus, it's better than just having a mistress, right? The society is used to it and their religion supports it. And they are very religious. The thing that is hard for me to understand, is how a man would marry a second wife when he KNOWS that his first wife doesn't want him too. Men have been known to get a second wife when things aren't going well for them, or when they're going through what we would call a mid-life crisis. In the past and in some villages, it was more appropriate. Women sometimes will have so much work to do around the house that it just makes more economic sense to have your husband get a second wife to help you do the work. But here and now, I can't see the sense in it. My family in Yoff is the second family of the father, who's only around a few days a week. I wish I could broach the subject with them, but I think it's rather touchy. That's my biased take on it. :)

Once again, I'm writing too much. I apologize.
Thanks everyone for your emails, they keep me positive.

YOFF

I thought I'd give you a little more on Yoff, the village/suburb of Dakar where I have been for a week and a half...

It's just as hot as Dakar. HOT. But everyone knows just about everyone else, and it doesn't really feel like a city here, even though it looks the same. People are supposedly more traditional, but I haven't seen much of a difference overall.

Yoff is known for the Lebou people that have lived here for a very very long time. They are traditionally fishermen, however lately the fish off the coast have been disappearing due to big boats that have destroyed their environment and over-fishing in the area. This is a tragedy that doesn't seem to have a solution right now. The Lebou also are known for their spiritual life. I mentioned that 95% of the country is Muslim, however it's always mixed with animistic beliefs. This is incredibly confusing for me, just because it is so ingrained in their lives and they don't talk about it that much. They believe in Genies, who were created by God and who are themselves Muslim (right now you can't summon them or feed them during the day, since they too are fasting for Ramadan). They were created to carry out God's work. You need to keep them happy (don't mess up) so that they don't get angry at you and cause harm to your family. You need to give them offerings of milk, blood or whole goats at certain times. (This last rule isn't followed by a majority of the people in the city, but they say it becomes more ritualistic as you move inside the country). Families and regions also have their own totem animals or women (yes, yes, women next to animals, not the first time I'll mention that) whom the genies will inhabit and protect them, as long as they are good to that animal. For example, a region outside of Dakar, Khaolak, the komodo dragon is their totem. They cannot kill it or harm it in any way. Some friends here told a story of a family in Khaolak who sets out food for a Komodo dragon that just walks into their house and leaves in peace.

The people also often wear gris gris to prevent them from harmful genies. I still haven't understood how genies can be bad since they're created by God, and I am not sure I'll ever get a clear answer. Anyways last night I went to a soccer game which was really cool/interesting for a lot of reasons. During the game the power went out (like it seems to do every day here, so it was no surprise). Immediately everyone pulled out their cell phones and there was a sea of blue, white and pink dots across the stadium. When the lights came back on about 5 minutes later, there was a fight on the field because someone from one team tried to steal the gris gris that was protecting the goal of the other team. The police came out and tried to break it up. The police are always at soccer games- both the crowd and the players can get pretty rowdy. My friend and I were the only toubabs and 2 of about 20 women in a crowd of 3,000. That was a fun experience.

That's all for today folks!
p.s. I always enjoy emails, wink wink nudge nudge. :)

Photos

In addition to changing the format (which you'll have to tell me if it's awful), I added a link to my photos. I thought it would be more practical that way. They don't do justice to what I have been seeing the most here, because I am afraid to whip out my camera in public most of the time. There will be many more to come, I promise.

Ocean View

The first three weeks of my program were in the center of Dakar, where we took wolof courses and had cultural orientation sessions. Now, for the next 4 weeks we are in Yoff, which is only about 20 minutes outside of Dakar, but which has a much different feel. The program here is with CRESP, which is an organization started by an American woman that works with sustainable development in this area, and in educating people from all over about sustainable development.

Dakar is crazy. It's busy like any large city, and there are people everywhere, like most big cities I think. The main difference that is visible, is that there are goats everywhere and there aren't that many tall buildings. There is a lot of dirt, so much so that when I come back from going anywhere, I like to wash my feet and lower legs.

Some things I really like are how the babies are carried on their mother's backs with a cloth. Sometimes it's a special one made especially for babies, other times it's just a big piece of cloth. Like in the past 2 days I have seen women carrying babies with cloth that matches their outfit. They are so classy in so many ways! I'll put up pictures soon, I promise. I also love that people are very relaxed here. Things move slower, and you can feel the relaxed-ness in the air almost. People are busy, but not too busy to stop and talk to someone. Or they just aren't at all busy. It's interesting to know how that feels, since I am so used to going going going all the time. Or at least feeling like I should be going going going.

Here in Yoff, I have a room on the roof with a view of the ocean. The room isn't great, but the view is wonderful. I also started fasting with my family for Ramadan. They started a while ago and I've had a cold, and I just got hungry, so I haven't started until now. That means that I got up at 5 to have a breakfast of mostly chocolate products and went back to sleep until 9. We get to eat again when the sun goes down. They have a tradition of breaking the fast with a hot drink, like tea or coffee, and dates and maybe some bread. Then they pray, and we eat dinner. Every family is a little different, but in general it goes like that. The extent to which their religion plays a part in their lives is really cool to see, especially since 95 per cent of the country is Muslim.

This is getting long, like I promised myself I wouldn't do, but I hope it's interesting to you all. I could write about a lot of things, so let me know if you want to know about something in particular.

Hope all is well!!

Food!

I think that how the Senegalese traditionally eat is very much indicative of their whole mode of living. It happens like this:

• There is one large plate/bowl, at least 1.5 ft in diameter, containing a carb such as rice or couscous with a pile of meat and some vegetables in the middle. There is extra sauce on the side for people to be served, and sometimes we also have a baguette.


• Everyone sits around the plate with clean hands and/or a spoon. The imaginary pie-shaped section in front of you is your space to eat from, with the meat and vegetables in the center being for everyone. BUT, the head woman of the house (which in my case is about 5-6 people) is in charge of taking that meat and vegetables and breaking it up and giving it to each of the others. Most of them eat with their hands in a way that is very graceful compared to how it was when I tried to do it. I am consistently given a spoon or fork and a towel to put on my lap.


• When you are done, get up and leave, otherwise everyone will keep shoving more food toward you. Also DO NOT use your left hand. That is rude. Also don't take a second spoon or handful before you have finished swallowing the first. Pace yourself.

Needless to say, it's a very communal activity, altough I am rarely part of the conversation, since they primarily speak wolof and I don't know that much yet. Their concept of language is very different than ours; since there are at least 12 different languages in this small country, they are used to not understanding others sometimes, and it is not considered rude at all to speak a different language in front of others who don't. Right now that is rather hard, but especially because I live with little kids I am picking up more and more as time goes on.

I am getting used to being sweaty all the time and to having a much different concept of time. I can't seem to wrap my mind around what having been here for 2 weeks really means.

I hope you all are doing well. If you can't post a comment and want to, just email me. I don't get to use the internet that often, but often enough!

Peace,
Caitlin

Toubab

hi everyone:

i only have 15 minutes left on this computer, so this will be quick. I have arrived safely and so far it has been very interesting. I have a great host family with a 16 month old named Fatou Marie and a 23 month old named Mustapha. There are a lot of women and every morning I am to say au revoir et bonjour to my 80 year old grandmere, who is very sweet. This culture is all about groups, and families are very close and hospitible to others. They always have leftovers just in case someone comes by and needs dinner. I need a whole 30 minutes to talk about how and what we eat, so Ill save that for later.

The other American girls and I (there are 9 of us from various schools) have started referring to ourselves as toubabs, the wolof word for white person. We hear that word wherever we go. It gets to be kind of nice when you can respond a simple phrase in wolof and say hi to everyone. I am trying to get over being hot and sticky, and I need to finish up for today... best wishes to all!!!

Testing

Hello all! Thanks for visiting my blog. I'll start putting stuff up once I'm there probably. Pictures too. I wrote a poem for everyone. Enjoy :)

Blueberries are wonderfoods,
Orca whales are actually dolphins,
and Senegal is in West Africa.

That's where I will be.